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“No respect at all, are you kidding? I was arrested for jaywalking. The crowd kept yelling, ‘Don't take him alive!’” | Rodney Dangerfield
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“What a doctor. I called him up, I told him I had diarrhea. He put me on hold.” | Rodney Dangerfield
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351K views · 4.5K shares | “Everytime I set the alarm, my wife turns it off. She says what I earn, it don’t pay to get up.” | Rodney Dangerfield | Facebook
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176K views · 2.2K reactions | In the words of Johnny Carson, “Would you welcome, Mr. Rodney Dangerfield!” | Rodney Dangerfield | Facebook
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“Last week, I told my wife, ‘I need a home improvement loan.’ She gave me a thousand dollars to move out.” | Rodney Dangerfield
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